so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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