I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.