you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
