hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize