this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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