i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
