So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
