me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
