Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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