I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize