You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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