Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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