His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
