We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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