I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
a search helicopter?!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
