Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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