Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
