I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
