Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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