Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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