i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Duck Duck Cougar?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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