apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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