I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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