sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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