Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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