Are we in a gay sports bar?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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