Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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