this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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