When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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