I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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