He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
accomplished twins. life is a go
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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