Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
