Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
