p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
