I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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