I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
