Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hippo gnu deer
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
