We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize