why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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