I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
