And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
