Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
