I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How does one acquire holy water?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
