Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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