I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
