He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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