Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize