Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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