My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini