i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??