wanna go halves on a baby?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.