what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize