The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
