Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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