I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize