I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
