I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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